IN THEORY...

Every year, teaching The Giver by Lois Lowry throws curve balls. 

This year, I'm not teaching it in my own 15:1 class, and I'm not teaching it with the same coteacher I had for 7 years or so. I'm with a new teacher, who is super receptive to my wacky ideas. 

So today and yesterday (because hybrid teaching means you have groundhog day across two days as you teach cohort 1 on Monday and then repeat the lesson for Cohort 2 on Tuesday), we did a circle discussion about... The Stirrings. I love love love this awkward conversation, because The Stirrings are basically puberty's arrival by way of a saucy dream, and because they report their dreams at breakfast to their families, the main character's parents are alerted to his sexual awakening and start him on the pull that will take those feelings away. Every adult takes the pills. So no one has those sexual feelings, no one has romantic love, NO ONE HAS SEX. Babies in this world are born to Birthmothers, who are assigned to the job (everyone's assigned to something) and do three births, then hard labor for the rest of their lives. People with spouses are assigned children after they apply for them and are approved. 

This BLOWS THE KIDS' MINDS when they realize all the implications. 

So, we asked a bunch of questions that went around the circle, and eventually got to...

"If no one is having sex, where do the babies come from? Do you need to have sex to have a baby?"

It eventually gets to the biological science of reproductive technology, and that we actually have this technology now, and in appropriate terms I explain it and how they could use science to create the babies, and how it's an option now but in the book, that's how ALL babies are made. 

And when giving examples of reproductive technology, the teacher I coteach with mentioned a science teacher who did this and had twins, and her sister in law who is a lesbian and had twins with her wife through this technology, and everything was going great until...

She said, "in our world, this is how people who can't have babies the old fashioned way get to have babies! It helps everyone have a baby who wants one." 

 I just about choked on my own bilious spit. 

"IN THEORY," I said a little aggressively. "SOME people use this technology over and over and over and NEVER get to have a baby. It works for some, not all." 

The kids kind of looked at me funny and then we moved to the next prompt, but it stuck with me. I didn't want to get all nitty gritty with it and be like, "it's great but it doesn't actually work 70% of the time." Normally I might have shared bits of my story with the students by now, but the weird schedule and the masks have kind of inhibited that personal connection. 

I don't doubt that some savvy students may have caught my irritation. I'll take it though, over "in our world, anyone can just get busy and have a kid!" which overlooked the whole idea that not everyone gets what they seek in our world. 

A fairly painless Giver experience this year, for which I am grateful. 



12 comments:

  1. Well, I don't know this book, but I wish I'd had you as a teacher when I was a kid! I hope your co-teacher had a think about what she said. Your response was perfect and not at all aggressive (though maybe you're referring to the steam that was coming out your ears at the time?), and I think it would have been perfectly fine to say it doesn't work 70% of the time. All you were doing was ensuring your students were hearing accurate information. I'm glad they have an informed teacher.

    Question: Did you have a conversation with your co-teacher about her comment afterwards?

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    1. Thank you! I love these discussions. Sadly, wet also have such limited time with the students that I didn't want to keep going down the path as the next question was "why would they get rid of sex in this society? What problems are caused by sex in our society?" But you're right, I could have said the 70%. I did talk to her Friday. I don't have much chance to debrief right after classes as both of my sections with her are directly followed by a class I teach, sometimes at the other end of the building so I have to scurry. I think her perspective can't from a sort of optimism but also a feeling that she doesn't want to throw unpleasant truths at the kids. Even though many of them are fully aware of unpleasant truths in our society.

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  2. Wow. I've never heard of this book, but my hat is off to you as you teach it!

    As for your co-teacher, sounds like she's living in her own world of no pain/sadness/bad news: a world where everything works out the way people want it to if they just do the right things. (Barf.) Perhaps it's time for her to expose herself to the reality that bad things keep happening even when since or kindness or desire wants them not to.

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    1. Thanks, it's a great book for reflection and inference, but it can get sticky! The funny thing is, my coteacher has had her share of things not work out. She also does not have children, and didn't find her person until her forties. I think there's a sense of misguided optimism that we can only put forward a world of possibility, a sorry of "the world is your oyster, anything is possible!" And I'm more "shit won't always work out, but you can be okay. Everyone doesn't get everything."

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  3. Why does the myth persist that everyone who wants a baby gets to have one?? It is SO ANNOYING!! And factually inaccurate. Gahhh.

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    1. Right? I second your GAAHHHH. I feel like this is a mission of mine, to give a healthy dose of reality. I am like a "sometimes you don't get what you want in life, not matter how hard you try, but you can move forward from this and make a new plan" evangelist.

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  4. Good for you! Both for being enthusiastic about awkward conversations and working a reality check in about ART. It’s definitely not the most relevant conversation for young teens but fertility and health are things we should get used to discussing. Especially for women it’s such a complicated topic.

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    1. Thank you! They do talk about it a bit in Health class in 8th grade, but it's tricky. I think the message in middle and high school tends to be "SPERM IS MAGIC AND CAN GET YOU PREGNANT FROM ANYWHERE!" and not as much "some of you will have tons of sex in your life and NEVER have a baby as a result, you'll need to employ technology and EVEN THEN shine of you won't have babies." I think the magic sperm are a bit of a deterrent legend? But I think it's important to acknowledge that there are many ways to build a family and sometimes those ways don't work out; we haven't yet figured out a way to guarantee a baby for those who want one."

      Tricky indeed.

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  5. I like The Giver, although I only read it for the first time a few years ago (I don't think it had been published yet when I was in school). It's surprising how many adults don't realize that IVF is not a guarantee.

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    1. I like it too. I was in college when it came out, but I've been teaching it since 2012. So many great questions about ethics, and what makes a perfect society, and can you eliminate pain without making life shallow, and how much control is too much. It does blow my mind that people choose to only see the "success" stories of IVF. I am not the only one in my building who came out of the experience babyless. And definitely not as small a percentage of people in general as you would think from the media's treatment of IVF. I cringe every time they say "the embryo is implanted in the uterus" instead of "transferred." Aaaa.

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  6. I'm still laughing at "SPERM IS MAGIC AND CAN GET YOU PREGNANT FROM ANYWHERE!" Because that's what I thought from my school experiences!

    It's great that your students have you as a deeper thinker. Much of the way through school, it goes like this? Have a problem? Find a solution. Problem solved.

    But real life, longer life, shows it doesn't always go like that in a straight line. Sometimes it doesn't even go at all.

    Love The Giver. Time for me to reread. So much good stuff for discussion!

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    1. Laughing at Lori's first para. That's certainly what my mother wanted me to think too!

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