ADHD and Clutter

I haven't really written much about the whole ADHD thing lately, but yup -- it's a thing. I am taking a medication that does seem to help, but really seems to help more with seasonal depression and general mood leveling, so the jury's still out on that one. Still not a stimulant medication. 

I have been focusing on skills, though, and I cannot recommend the YouTube channel "How to ADHD" enough. It is SO HELPFUL. And, the creator, Jessica McCabe, has a BOOK by the same name now! 

I have not gotten super far into the book, but I am looking forward to it. Particularly the chapter called, "How to See Time." Holy Moses do I need that one. 

Anyway, I was feeling overwhelmed in my office, which had become rather...crowded. Piles of books on the floor. Piles of paper on my desk. And the floor. And "hiding" under the chaise longue. I love my cozy office, but it wasn't an area I enjoyed being in anymore. It had turned against me. Ha, rewind that. I had turned against it, and it was so overwhelming that I just couldn't get a handle on it, and for me... when I feel overwhelmed, I just sort of selectively unsee messes. Because if I see it, it causes me stress and I want to fix it but I know from experience that it will likely just return to its original state. It feels hopeless. 

Well, I had some extra time over break and was able to get started on organizing and throwing crap out and making a space that I can feel good about. 

What helped? This video: 

She has a whole series of videos on wrangling clutter and reframing the idea that you are just a messy, disorganized person. WARNING: She also has a lot of videos on ADHD and pregnancy because she just had a baby, but you don't have to watch those if they don't apply (I certainly don't). This one was cool because it has an actual resource in the comments -- a worksheet by an organizational design team that is ADHD friendly. SO HELPFUL. 

I will say, I am glad that I had pretty much a full day to dedicate to Operation Office, because if I hadn't had enough time to go start to finish, it would have been a disaster. I could see me lying on the floor, surrounded by crap, in tears and frustrated. But woohoo! Break meant I could do it. (I really have a hard time doing things in stages, it's like an all-or-nothing thing with me, and if I get into a bigger project than I was ready for, there. will. be. tears.) 

Looking for "before" photos was hilarious. Oddly, I don't tend to take pictures of my hideous messes. But here are some sneaky blurry background shots of my giant piles 'o books: 

So this doesn't look too horribly terrible, but it's all TBR and I had it all "organized" pretty by color.

The dark underbelly... if you look behind my shoulder you can see that there is a stack of books on the floor next to the stack on top of the bookcase. And what you can't see is that there are actually four stacks of books on the floor. FOUR. So, from outside the door, you just saw stacks, which was icky, but I couldn't actually see what I had there. It just...lived on the floor.

Oh. My. Gosh. Is that a clear surface I see on top? So, it pained me to do this, but I stacked the books vertically and 2 stacks deep because it is a pretty deep little bookcase and I could fit everything on it this way. The stacks are by genre now, and staggered so I can see everything, and if I can't totally see it, I just slide a stack. And look! Floor! 

Now, my desk. I do not have a picture of it messy, but I can show how it's been organized THRICE in the past year or so, because I can make it pretty but it's so hard to make it sustainably functional. Imagine GIANT piles of papers, mail, and books on either side of my laptop for before shots. 

First Iteration: 

You can kind of see the pile I'm trying to hide on the left, and also pieces I've cut out of my pretty Katie Daisy desk calendar because I was TOTALLY going to use them for something. 

Second Iteration: 

I bought this desk organizer shelf thing after reading a BuzzFeed list (I am a sucker for that stuff) and I actually love it, but you can see how there is crap on the other organizer to the right, and on the desk to the right, and behind my laptop, and there's a pile you can't see to the left of my laptop, and there's some junk hidden behind the sleeping cat. Lucky, you're so cute! I'm trying, but not quite there yet. 

Third Iteration: 

AHHHH! I actually threw out stuff! I rearranged things so that it's useful, but also pleasing, and LOOK AT ALL THAT WORK SPACE! The blue laptop desk pad is another BuzzFeed find, and look how pretty my planbook is. I bought a really organized fancy planbook in the hopes that I'd actually be motivated to use it more often and keep up. I am actually mentally very organized, but paper and things are my enemy. (Also, full disclosure, there is ONE small pile of papers and notebooks on the floor behind my chair that you can't see, but I feel like it's disingenuous not to confess.)

It is wonderful to see empty space. I am hoping it is motivating to try to keep it that way for longer this time. How much time did it take to tackle this? Oh, probably about 7 hours. But it was worth it, and I kept myself off the floor so that I didn't feel tempted to just shut the door and walk away and pretend I don't have an office anymore. 

One last thing -- I did actually get rid of some books. It pained me, because I hate culling books, but in organizing my TBR pile there were a few that I knew I wasn't going to read (either because I'd picked them up and put them right back down, or they were "should" books), and there were a few on my Read shelves that I felt I could let go of. I took a page from Lori Lavender Luz, who had the brilliant idea of driving around to find Free Little Libraries and depositing books like little treasures about town. So we did that, and found four different Little Libraries, including one that was Harry Potter themed (painted gold with the Marauder's Map and "I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good").  It felt really great to be a secret twilight book fairy. 

We are trying to reduce our "stuff" bit by bit, because there's really no one who is going to help us when we're old, no kids/grandkids to take any of our treasures. It stresses me out so much when we have to tackle a room. It feels unsurmountable and overwhelming. But, with the tips from the How to ADHD team and knowing that I did it once and could do it again, I think it's less so. As long as we do one space at a time, and I have absolutely nothing else going on that day. 

It is lovely to have a pretty, functional space, and to know that although I made it a disaster, I also made it something that works for me and makes me happy, not stressed.