Loribeth at The Road Less Travelled wrote an excellent post last week about the word choice of "regular families" in an article about the housing market.
It actually reminded me of an experience we had when looking at houses ourselves.
There was a house on the fringe of our old neighborhood that we actually looked at twice. It was a beautiful, older home with lots of character and pretty much all the nooks and crannies and space you could ever want. The first time we looked, we were starting the adoption process. We looked at it from the perspective of being a potential family of three. I loved the bedroom that had a closet with a little WINDOW in it, and could see our mythical child playing in there, or using it as a reading nook. It was very Harry Potter. I loved the room dedicated to an elliptical machine, the fireplaces (one surrounded by bird's eye maple), the yard, all the possibilities. We decided not to pursue it because it was on the threshold of our limit and we didn't know how much we would have to set aside for adoption.
Well, that very same house went up for sale about 3-4 years later, which begged all kinds of sad questions. The bedroom with the cool window-closet had been painted with chalkboard paint and there were Harry Potter quotes everywhere, scrawled by some tween/teen. Who knows if they got divorced or a new job or what made them put the house on the market so soon, but as we walked through this time, we knew we would never have children. The house was definitely big, but then the realtor said, "Oh you don't have kids? Oh no. This house isn't for you. This for a family."
What. The. Flippity. Flap. I'm sorry, who are you to say what is and isn't for us?
We didn't stay with that realtor.
We found a new one, who showed us houses that we asked for and never ever said anything about our childless state. And our house now is smaller than that nooks-and-crannies house, but it is PERFECT for us. And it has three bedrooms, and two offices, and we have made it entirely cozy and tailored for our life. It's like this house was waiting for us, for the right time.
So there, judgy realtor. We ended up in a big house, "more space" than we apparently deserve, and it is the perfect fit. I retroactively thumb my nose at you.
Ugh. I give another digit to judgy realtor! How ridiculous to make judgements. How do they know you don't have lots of nieces/nephews who want to visit, that you don't want to host swinging parties, that you're not going to set up a house caring for others, or just that you have heaps of stuff and like to spread out. I mean, I agree that you each need an office, and perhaps each of you needs a music room or craft room or a morning office and afternoon office! Stereotypes are just a lack of imagination.
ReplyDeleteI love the sound of your house. It feels very like ours. When we bought it, we thought kids might be an option, but considered we'd stay in it for a few years. It's perfect for us now! (And yes, we have two offices (or one office, and one little open room near the entrance), and the spare spare room is a great reading place in the winter.
As well you should.
ReplyDeleteThumbing my nose along with you & Mali! So long as you can afford it and the upkeep involved, who's to say a space is "too large" for two people? I'm glad you gave that realtor the boot!
ReplyDeleteWe are a thumb brigade (or in Mali's case, a finger). My jaw dropped that someone would make the pronouncement. So glad you ditched the realtor and found your house. You deserve anything you decide you want.
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