Anniversary Gift

We are celebrating our twelfth wedding anniversary this month -- TWELVE! It's also our 5th anniversary post-resolution. When we hit our 15th anniversary, we will celebrate having more years out of infertility/adoption than in...which is exciting to look forward to. 

Last year, I gave Bryce the Love Bats, a painting I commissioned from a very talented friend. I kept it secret until I picked it up in the parking lot of a Starbucks, like some sort of suburban-bougie heist setup. I made it to October 13th, 10 days before our "legal" wedding anniversary. 

This year, I did something else secret, and I kept it totally quiet until today...but there are still secrets until I have something physical to share with Bryce. 

I did a boudoir photo shoot. 

Before you think this is creepy, or smutty, or whatever, I chose to do this because the Natalie, woman who runs the studio and does the shoot is amazing -- she has a philosophy that this is primarily for YOU, that it is a way to see yourself the way your significant other sees you, and that every woman deserves to do something to celebrate their body and sexuality AS YOU ARE TODAY. Not 15 years ago, not after losing 25 pounds. NOW. I could not love this message more. 

I have thought about doing this for years. And this year, I decided... it's time. 

I sneakily bought tasteful lingerie from Adore Me that fit my body just right and highlighted just what I wanted highlighted. I love that they are size-inclusive not just in their advertisement but in reality (sometimes you get things that are more full-figured that look great on the model and they look absolutely dreadful on an actual curvy body, because not all curvy bodies are made the same). 

I said I was going for a massage (SHOULD HAVE SAID HAIR APPOINTMENT/MAKEOVER to continue sneakiness), and then went this morning to the COVID location in an adult education warehouse sort of place. My best friend said, "Sounds totally up-and-up that you went to an abandoned warehouse to get photos taken of you in your underwear." That sounds very murder-y and shady, but it was anything but. All-woman team -- a logistics lady who got me set up and spreading out my fancy wares on a long table that people probably do watercolors or flower arranging on during other times, a hair/makeup lady, and then the photographer lady. They were all masked and we were all vaccinated, and it was a very airy, ventilated space so I felt super safe. When it was time for the shoot it was just me and Natalie, two women having a blast. 

I wore a dusky plum babydoll set, a black bra and lace panties set, prop 7" platform stilettos that tried to kill me even though I just stood and sat in them for less than 10 minutes, a lace-and-jersey nightie thing, white cheeky panties with a very nerdy Dungeons & Dragons (Critical Role) sweatshirt I stole from Bryce's closet that was literally my favorite thing ever (the back says How do you want to do this? which is literally perfect), and then an artfully draped sheet. At no time did I feel anything but sexy, beautiful, celebrated, and maybe a little goofy. There's only so many times you can toss your hair and laugh amusedly at your left shoulder without laughing hysterically and probably unattractively, but that was part of the fun. 

I cannot wait for the image review next week. It is so exciting, because what I saw on the camera screen was just crazy -- I looked like me but like some kind of magical sexified celebrity-ish me. I have so much more to write about this experience, but I'm already way over Micro for a Monday. 

I felt empowered and beautiful. I fell in love with my body again. And then I went home looking like this: 


Cover...blown. Could not keep it secret any more. Natalie suggested I say I popped in to the mall for a free makeover, but I don't think Bryce would ever believe that I'd go to the mall voluntarily. Honestly, now the intrigue will make it even more fun when I actually have the photos to show Bryce. I can't wait to see how they turn out. 


Want to read an actual #Microblog Monday? Go here and enjoy! 

12 comments:

  1. Wow! Gorgeous! I'm so glad it was a gift to Bryce but to you too - feeling empowered and beautiful. You deserve it. How fabulous!

    Though based on last year and this, you really need to work on how to keep secrets. lol

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    1. Thank you so much! Oh yes, definitely a gift to myself too. :) OMG, I am terrible at keeping my own secrets! I can take yours to the grave, but my own? Let's say I should never, ever play poker.

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  2. How fun and what a great idea! It’s so worth it to look and feel your best every now and then. Happy anniversary!

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    1. Thank you! I am going all in on the Accept The Mess philosophy, the I Am Enough Exactly As I Am NOW. I have spent so much time hating my body, and this was a great way to reacquaint myself with the good stuff! :) It was such a pampering experience.

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  3. First, screw everyone’s opinion on this…if you were happy and confident and comfortable, YOU DO YOU.

    Second…WOWsers Jess…you are one gorgeous gal…and that look…Bryce is gonna love them! But more for the confidence, you can see your strength and awesomeness in the picture. Like you KNOW you are a badass. As if there was ever any question!! Proud of you, friend, for all you are❤️❤️

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    1. Ha! It's so funny because people either think it's awesome or terribly indulgent, or just say "good for you, but that's definitely not something I would ever do." But I LOVED it. I have my image review on Monday and I am so stoked!

      Oh man, thank you so much for the kind words! I did channel my inner Zoolander for this shoot. :)

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  4. Wow! I love this post and I hadn't heard of boudoir photography so I googled and now I know. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I don't mind if you went over micro. I am so glad you did this. We need to celebrate ourselves in the way we want. Isn't it? So happy for you, Jess and I am smiling ear to ear <3

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    1. Thank you! Oh man, be careful googling boudoir photography, there's definitely a spectrum... :) I love how you put that, celebrating ourselves in the way we want. I am so excited to see the photos, and so glad I finally hit GO on this project! Thank you for your thoughts.

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  5. This is the best! And you look smoldering in that picture. This is awesome that you did this.

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    1. Thank you so much! Ooooh, smoldering. Great word. Trying for a little Blue Steel, ha ha ha! It was so difficult to take it seriously but then I got into it. It was a really awesome experience.

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  6. Oh how I love this! You two do the BEST gifts.

    I have a feeling you've inspired more than a couple of readers...

    You look stunning.

    You always do.

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    1. Awww, thank you so much! I was so excited to finally do this. I see images on Monday, so excited! :) Bryce of course is super worried about his present now, so I told him he could take sexy photos of him chopping wood in the driveway. Oddly he wasn't game for that. :) HAHAHAHA

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