I Have the WORST Luck

A couple of weeks ago I saw an article in my Google news feed that was titled "Rochester Fertility Doctor Used Own Sperm." 

Hmmmm. I live in the Rochester area. I had fertility doctors. I was like, "please don't let this be anyone I know..."

Well, it wasn't any of my fertility doctors. Whew. 



This is the doctor who did my "melonballer" surgery, the endomyometrial resection  I had in 2017 to address my abnormal bleeding. Unfortunately it failed (likely because I had adenomyosis and my lining was growing into the muscle of my uterus, so eliminating it and the root layer of muscle didn't keep it from growing back), and I got a hysterectomy with another doctor although I was pressured to try the procedure again as it would be less radical but I had no guarantee it wouldn't fail insanely painfully again. So out with the uterus. 

I still kept him as a doctor after that because the practice had no focus on obstetrics at the time I've been going. I never saw pregnant people. There were no statues or paintings of big bellied mamas or nursing women like in other practices I've been in. That was appealing, for obvious reasons. 

AND NOW I HAVE TO FIND A NEW DOCTOR. Why? Please see this article and this article for specifics, it's now even in the Washington Post and the New York Post and the Guardian, for heaven's sake. 

I can't continue going to a gynecologist who, as a fertility doctor who helped women with donor sperm inseminations USED HIS OWN SPERM and fathered a whole bunch of children whose parents thought they were getting different genetic material and then the one suing him was treated in his office as a gynecologic patient AND HE KNEW HE WAS HER BIO FATHER. Big steaming pile of EW. 

So now I go in search of a new doctor, and hopefully beat out what I imagine will be a swarm of people jumping ship, because, um, NO. It sucks because there are great nurses and nurse practitioners there. 

Also what sucks is doing an initial doctor's appointment with a new gynecologist, and going over allllll of my sordid history. Again. Having new nurses ask new awkward questions. Writing NO NO NO NO NO when it says "are you pregnant?" and having to write a big ZERO under live births but 2 for pregnancies. Having to list the insane number of times something sharp has been in my nethers. At least now I have less equipment to deal with. I'm down to 2 ovaries, a cervix, and a vagina. And breasts, of course. Lots of things that could one day try to kill me. 

It makes me really angry. For the families who were bamboozled, for the children who were lied to x2 (not everyone was honest about using donor sperm, but now you can get a DNA testing kit for Christmas, so that makes it impossible to keep such secrets for long...), for the woman who realized her biological father, a family friend, had been treating her most vulnerable parts. There's a lot more to this than my frustration over having to find another doctor. 

But it does just seem like you can't make this stuff up. I have the WORST luck. 


  1. Oh no!!! I read of that case…..so sorry it was your gynaecologist!! That is dreadful luck. So sorry you and other women are dealing with the consequences of his malpractice and all round creepiness,

  2. That is bananapants! And awful. I am so sorry. Starting out with a new doctor is hard, and this is also a trust situation. Yuck.

  3. OMFG...I am speechless!

    I used to think that you had to be really smart to become a doctor. After all, med school is really tough and competitive, right? And for awhile I thought that "smart" in one area also meant smart enough not to do idiotic, myopic, cruel things that hurt people.

    I have been proven so wrong over the years. This is the latest. I'm sorry you were close to it :-(

  4. OMG, that's appalling! What a complete abuse of trust - for ALL his patients. What an absolute creep, to keep treating his own biological daughter. I hope he is at least being investigated and is no longer allowed to practise medicine. There should be criminal charges, surely?

    Yuck, too, to starting with a new doctor. That's never fun. Sending hugs.