School is officially sucking the life from me -- I am falling hard at work-life balance. Partly this stems from being out for three days at the start of the year, which put me behind from the outset.
But Sunday night two weeks ago, we had dinner and wine out on the deck, and our friendly neighborhood screech owl serenaded us. It was beautiful and serene, perfect for setting the tone for a new, hopefully less crazy week.
Monday I had a professional learning, and we were talking about how lovely the previous evening was. I mentioned my relaxing dinner on the deck, and what do you think the first response was from a 30-something colleague from another building?
Do you have kids?
Nope, it didn't work out.
She immediately turned to the next person who did have kids to continue on.
What did I get from this?
a) I must not have kids if I can have a relaxing al fresco evening with owls
and
b) if I don't have kids, I'm not interesting to talk to.
BUT I HAVE OWLS!
Sigh. I know that those in the throes of young child parenting can feel insanely jealous of my quiet, woodsy, boozy evening. But I wish that they could also see that they have hugs and bedtime stories and all those pieces.
I have my husband, and my owls. I have a deck with a bistro table and Bryce's delicious culinary feats. I'm more than content with our quiet evenings. And I'd like to think I'm interesting to talk to! Oh well. Her loss.
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Her loss indeed! And what's she going to talk about in 10-15 years time when her kids have flown the nest? I am sure some of your colleagues rolled their eyes at her, kids or no kids. And also, I'm glad she works in another building. Hopefully, far far away from you.
ReplyDeleteYou have owls! I googled it to listen - beautiful. Owl people are the best. lol We've had one - or several generations - of our native owl, the ruru/morepork, for years. D complains regularly that we've never seen it, so I got him a Metalbird ruru for Christmas last year. But last week he took the rubbish out, and saw it sitting on a low branch in our largest tree. Of course, by the time he came and got me to come see it, it had gone! Sigh.
I'm sorry, Jess! As Mali said, her loss indeed. (eyeroll)
ReplyDeleteI had a similar moment about 20 years ago when I went to a Saturday scrapbooking "crop," where women would get together at hall near the scrapbook store we frequented and work on our albums. I was by myself and said hello to the two other women (who were friends) seated at my table. They asked if I had kids and I said no and explained that the boys in the pages I was working on were my nephews. I don't think they said another word to me all day, at least not voluntarily. I tried to comment on the pages they were working on, ask about the techniques they were using, etc. I'd get a nod or a polite response & then they'd go right back to ignoring me. I've never forgotten that. I kept thinking, "You could ask me about the pages *I* am working on, the last trip I took, any good movies I'd seen lately or books I'd read... it's not that hard!"
Your dinner on the deck sounds wonderful! :)
Gahhh!! I hate this!! So much! I'm especially sensitive to it at the moment because it's getting to where I don't know what I can safely say in small talk at work without getting a judgmental side comment.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I just want to scream at other people, "It's not my fault you have children!!!" Other times I want to tell them, "This time period is temporary. Motherhood is forever." But I never say anything like that. I just get quieter in public spaces and vent on the blogosphere where I feel understood. <3
You are SO interesting to talk to!
ReplyDeleteShe just didn't know what to say. Maybe your innocuous comment touched on something within her.
The owl serenade is SO COOL. How lovely to have weekends like this and yummy food made just for you on a cute bistro table to help the work-life balance.