I have good news and bad news. The good news: I don't have COVID. The bad news: I still have some kind of horrid respiratory infection that has left me voiceless, and so I am MISSING THE FIRST TWO DAYS OF SCHOOL WITH STUDENTS.
I am heartbroken over it, because this is yet another unprecedented year and these two days are not heavy academically, but are heavy in connection-building. And I am missing it. But, I am no longer freaking out that I somehow caught COVID. That was a sucky 24 hours. I basically woke up yesterday after having allergy symptoms for a couple days with a raging full-head headache and a super sore throat, and that combined with activated asthma had me freaking out. We cannot be on school property if we have any COVID symptoms without an alternate diagnosis from a doctor or a negative test. I missed the last day of preparation. And now I'm missing the first days with students.
What is interesting is I realized, after literally crying over my inability to start the year, that I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
Ten years ago I missed the first few days of school because of my ectopic pregnancy and complicated recovery from my emergency surgery. TEN YEARS AGO. That is so crazy.
Maybe this is like a comet, and every ten years something will come up that disrupts my first days of school and reminds me that the world will keep turning even if I can't come. It would be great if it wasn't, though.
I wrote about the last time I missed first days at My Path to Mommyhood. Then, I was starting a new teaching position as a Resource Room teacher across two buildings. I was new, new, new, and so being out was just awful.
This time I am well established in one of the two buildings from ten years ago, I am lead special education teacher, I am National Board Certified, I am secure in my skills.
BUT I AM STILL FREAKING OUT. The technology isn't working. I was so busy being sick in the past couple of days that I was scrambling to assemble all my stuff. My sub is not tech friendly. Everything is terrible.
But I am being reminded to breathe, BREATHE, BREATHE. It will be okay. Even if it is a total clusterfuck at the moment, I guess it will just make me look amazing next week? I am trying to convince myself. It will be okay, it will be okay, it will be okay.
I guess I always have to expect the unexpected. Sigh.
I'm so glad that you don't have COVID! Fingers crossed you have the entire school year in person to build a relationship with your students so that missing the first couple days won't be a big deal in the long run. Feel better!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Holy moses, this was rough. I'm down to just being tired and having a terrible cough, but not all the time. So back to school tomorrow I go! This is the first full week, so hopefully it matters more that I'm here this week in full. Ooof.
DeleteUgh, it so sucks to have those opening days disrupted! But, it will be ok….if not ideal….you got this! Best of luck and wishes for good health!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Ugh, it stinks (even though those two days are my least favorite of the school year, so much housekeeping crap). But now I get to be all kinds of nervous for the first day of school that's everyone else's 3rd day of school tomorrow! :)
DeleteAw man, I'm sorry! I'm not the biggest fan of back to school (I prefer October when routines and expectations are known by all haha), so I empathize with your feelings of being thrown off track and missing the first couple of days. It will be okay though! I hope you are feeling better!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you don't have COVID too! Breathe breathe breathe - as you said, you can be amazing next week. It'll be okay, you'll be okay, and your students will be okay.
ReplyDeleteUgh...what a(nother) rough start to a school year! It feels so good when things go smoothly and so awful when they don't.
ReplyDeleteBut. Things are already righting themselves. I'm SO glad you are feeling better. I'm SO glad you can breathe.
My vote, dear Universe, is that Jess gets to hit the easy button every August/September for here on out. mmmmK?
By now, you are back at school -- and I'm willing to bet that both you & your students feel like you've been there from day one, right? Still, it sucks that you didn't get to spend those first few days with them as planned. But I'm very glad it was just a bad cold!
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