The future is an uncertain place...but lately it seems even more uncertain than ever. Things that I thought I could count on (democracy, social security, my job's long-term reliability) are looking more ephemeral by the day.
So, reading Mali's post "Ageing Without Children: Self-Motivation Needed" made me think about our own situation.
Thinking about future planning for aging seemed pretty far away. Bryce just turned 51 and I am turning 49 in May, and we realized it's actually not as far in the future as it seems. So, here are my musings:
- As a teacher, technically I can retire at 55. which is only 6 years away (what the hell!). For perspective, 6 years ago I was already 2 years out of childless-not-by-choice resolution. Now, this is a bit more complicated because I didn't become a full-fledged teacher until my early 30s. For retirement, you can retire at 55, but you get full benefits with 30 years of service. Before that, it's prorated. I am in one of the only remaining professions with a pension, and I eked in at Tier 4, which is the most beneficial NYS retirement tier. I am super lucky for that. To get 30 years of service, I have to teach until my 60s. That wasn't something that bothered me at all, until everything about teaching became uncertain with attempts to shutter the Department of Education and concerns about funding (especially for special ed) and school budgets facing shortfalls and a teacher contract that is up for renegotiation in 2027. I have hit eligibility for healthcare upon retirement, so I could do that without penalty at 55. So now we weigh the risks of retiring before 30 years to secure healthcare, or taking the risk that that goes away if I wait to have full benefits at 30 years. Sigh.
- The rest of our retirements is investments, 401(k), my 403(b), and rollover IRAs. So... currently we just don't look at those statements because it's all awful from the turmoil of current events. Hopefully it recovers.
- We have started going through the house and reducing "things." Streamlining what comes into the house to what is necessary, what will help us be organized, and what is aligned with our values. We've been in our home since December 2018, and we absolutely love it. It has seen me through two total knee replacements, and while it is a "treehouse" and is taller than it is wide, the (very bougie sounding) elevator has saved my ass multiple times. The fact that the downstairs bedroom is entirely accessible helps a lot. But, eventually, we will also want to move to something with fewer stairs, something a bit smaller. Maybe an end unit of a side-by-side condo where we can have some gardening, but we don't have to worry about mowing or shoveling or any of that. Maybe a tiny house (or small compound of themed tiny homes) in a meadow somewhere where we live with our books and music and cats and get chickens and goats or something.
- We have been watching "Man on the Inside" on Netflix. It's about an older widower (the wonderful Ted Danson) who is in a lonely rut after the death of his wife, and answers an ad to be a spy on the inside of a retirement community to help a private investigator solve a string of thefts. It's funny, and heartwarming, and yesterday it made me cry. It's not an assisted living place per se, everyone has their own apartment, but there's a dining hall and activities and nursing care, as well as a memory care wing that looms like a door you go into and never go out. Yesterday, I felt like...maybe that's not such a bad thing for when you are older and living alone is isolating. You have less care to worry about, and you have social connections that keep you going. Of course, it also tends to cost thousands of dollars per month, and you own nothing. But, it seems like perhaps it's not the worst thing if you find a nice place for active older adults. Having children doesn't guarantee that you'll have people visiting. But NOT having children definitely makes the prospect of aging feel scarier, lonelier, more isolating. Maybe a place like that would ease those worries.
Of course, we are nowhere near those kinds of decisions. We need to figure out how we can make the most of the years of our lives where we're active, and independent, and have the ability to do fun things. I have two new knees for a reason! It's always a good idea to have those thoughts and plans in the corners of the mind though -- time marches on and it stops for nobody.
We're not promised that we'll get to those "golden years," so we have to live it up in the moment. If we are fortunate enough to have a comfortable old age together, it would be nice to know that we prepared and planned for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment