She'd seen a call for pitches from an editor at Insider.com for an essay on the difference between being childless and childfree, and would I like to pitch it? She introduced me via email to the editor, and I wrote up a pitch. (Yay, networking!)
I didn't want to do a "this vs that" story. I find both terms problematic. I have a preference, but I wanted to write about how it felt to confront those labels and then where I landed, and how perhaps we shouldn't be so interested in the labels but instead look at the value that women bring REGARDLESS of whether they are parents or not.
She accepted the pitch! I wrote up and finessed a draft in my dark office with my brightness turned way down on my laptop, and slept on it. I left a printed copy for Bryce to review when I went to bed, and read through his edits and suggestions, which were quite good. I came home, finessed it up, and hit send.
It was published on Friday! I will admit that until I got confirmation that it went live I was riddled with anxiety and self-doubt, They hated it, they are going to do a kill fee, I knew I shouldn't have put myself out there, etc etc. My nasty inner voice is relentless. I'm glad I didn't listen to it (much).
But here it is! I hope I did us justice. I hope my voice continues to call out the way women are minimized or discredited for not having children, no matter the reasons why. I hope I was successful in sharing my thoughts without denigrating others.
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| I didn't realize when they asked for a headshot that it was going to be MY GIANT HEAD at the top of the essay, but I do actually like this picture, so...okay? :) |
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!
Yay, networking! I love the article. I could have written your article (if I was as eloquent as you!) in that you said what I feel! I hate the LESS labels, but increasingly use it because a) search engines, and b) what other term is there (other than No Kidding, of course lol).
ReplyDeleteAlso, your beautiful head makes the article even better!
Thank you! Oh, labels. And search engines. So much conflictedness!
DeleteYou're right. I have never asked someone, "Why do you have kids?" but I have been asked a million times why I don't.
ReplyDeleteVery well written article, Jess! Thank you!! You articulated my own thoughts well regarding terminology to describe ourselves. I don't feel "less" (anymore... well, mostly I don't), but I can't describe myself as "free" either. CNBC is where I land too.
Thanks for being here for me. Thanks for being here for all of us. I just have to say again that you wrote a great article!!
Thank you so much! Ha ha ha, that part with "why DO you have children" was a favorite. I feel lucky to have the opportunity, it was a lot of fun writing this essay!
DeleteFabulous piece. And I love that end note about why are we pushed to choose one label?
ReplyDeleteThank you! I thought about how we are so often pushed into binaries and sides, and how insidious that is as it just divided us. I didn't want to be one more "versus." Thank you so much!
DeleteThis is an amazing essay, Jess, and I'm so glad it is out in the world. You addressed so many important points, not only about the terminology, but about the experience and journey.
ReplyDeleteFabulous article, Jess! :) In an ideal world, we wouldn't need labels, right? But until then...!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Ah yes, until then... Sigh
DeleteI love that you were afforded the opportunity to do what you do for an even larger audience. Amazing essay. The pic is great.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I was THRILLED for the opportunity, so exciting! And thanks for the compliment on the pic!
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