Can't Get A Break

Have I mentioned that this school year is amazing? That my kids are insanely kind, and hardworking, and reflective? That I have (almost) zero stress relating to referrals, discipline gone awry, feeling alone and unsupported in my room? 

It's absolutely glorious. 

However, it is also for some reason one of the most tiring years, in that there is simply not enough time to get the things done that need to be done. I have a heavy lift for modifying materials for a couple of students (think adapting text to the 1st grade level with picture symbols for each paragraph, and then add in that the topics are things like the Triangle Factory Fire, Child Labor, Wounded Knee Massacre... no biggie). I have a huge range of student needs in my two co-taught classes for Social Studies 8 -- one class can have neurodivergent kids (both autism of varying degrees and significant ADHD), kids with learning disabilities, kids with behavioral struggles, and kids who have intellectual disabilities. I teach my self-contained English class, which I am very comfortable with, and then new this year is self-contained math, which is decidedly less comfortable. Lots of learning curve. I have my resource room, which is delightful, but all of it together is a LOT to manage. It feels like I am juggling and the balls are slowly being set on fire. It's all part of the job, but it's a lot this year. The day flies, but I am left feeling utterly overwhelmed by 2:40 and have had to stay until 5 or 6 (sometimes later) just to try to get on top of things. And this is with actually using my prep periods somewhat effectively! 

There's a lot of things that contribute. There are a LOT of new things all at once. 

But also... 

My right knee decided to go out on me. Like, totally collapse and leave me calling Bryce to bring me crutches at school. Couldn't put weight on it. Of course I had an appointment with the surgeon earlier that week that I cancelled because I was feeling great from the hyaluronic acid shots which were working amazingly well...until Thursday. I was told not to come in and say how great I feel, ha. But then I went in on Friday and...my knee is bone on bone for patella-femoral, and heading that way in the joint (but there are spurs from the arthritis). Awesome.

Do you see where this is going? 

I am having a knee replacement on my remaining original knee in mid-February. I will be missing a chunk of this lovely year. I am in a fair amount of pain day to day (although it's improving a bit, but I am using a dandy purple cane since I can't afford to fall). Pain is EXHAUSTING.

What the hell, body. 

It is something else to just constantly feel like my body is letting me down. Like nothing works. I'm excited to be fully bionic in my knees, but seriously WHAT THE HELL. 

I am grateful that I don't have kids, because it is a layer of finagling that I don't have to worry about. Both with having to finish my work staying late, and with taking 8 weeks off in the middle of the freaking year. I don't have that added stress. AND, I have plenty of sick time to cover my leave because I don't have to stay home with sick kids and I never took any maternity leave, which pretty much depletes your bank of days. So, silver linings? 

Wish me luck as I head back in to major surgery, knowing what it's going to be like (AAAAAA) but also knowing that after recovery it's a new lease on life. 

Again, what the actual fuck, body?