I am very proud of my new knee. It has done an amazing job of recovering from a frankly brutal rebuilding. It has been just shy of 10 months since my total knee replacement, and I am finding that I have to remind myself of how that's REALLY NOT THAT MUCH TIME AT ALL.
Because, I keep having moments where I feel great, and I go for a nice long walk, and then my knee reminds me that it's not quite 100%. Like this past Saturday, when Bryce and I took a walk on a rail trail nearby, and by the time we got back to the road that would eventually lead us back to the house, I was in so much pain that Bryce had to go get the car and pick me up.
It made me SO mad.
It was actually sore all day yesterday, and I elevated and iced and stayed off it, but argh! So frustrating! I can't seem to tell what constitutes "too much" until I've overshot it. I can ride my stationary bike hard, and I don't get the same kind of pain, but I don't want to be stationary. I want to get back to hiking, and accidentally going on 12 mile walks like we used to (that actually happened).
But then, on top of my new knee being cranky, my "regular" knee has started randomly collapsing on me. I step wrong and it feels like under my patella just...crunches and gives way. It feels very much like my left knee felt about 4 years before the replacement. TOO SOON, right knee. That one doesn't have a catastrophic injury like the left one did from high school, but it does have the same shallow patellar groove and arthritis (although less), and I am worried that it is headed down the same path. Maybe it's jealous.
It is so hard to have patience with my body. My body does amazing things, but it also has a history of screwing me over. A lot. Sometimes I feel like I lost the genetic lottery and I truly am Wednesday's Child (full of woe). And then I realize how ridiculously maudlin that is and I snap out of it. Well, partially out of it.
I have a feeling I will have my second knee replacement in my 50s (which are only 2 years away, yikes!). I was just really hoping to have some time where I could enjoy the one new one and get back to regularly scheduled activities, but alas. As usual, my body has other plans. So very, very frustrating.
Bummer. I feel for you. I hope you can find a workable median.
ReplyDeleteThank you again, Jess, for sharing your patient experience. It is so helpful for me as a healthcare practitioner.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, healing is not linear. I hate that you still experience pain sometimes, but I love that you are able to hike a little bit. Your other knee might be sore because it was probably compensating somehow for a couple of years. We don't know that surgery is inevitable. We will take it one day and one hike at a time.
I'm so thankful for my body too and all that it can do, but, also, it is so hard a lot of the time to accept my body's limitations and dysfunctions along with its incredible capabilities.
That sucks! Aah - I'm glad IP mentioned that your other knee might have been compensating before or after your surgery. Maybe a PT might be able to help. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever have a band, I want to call it Jealous Knee. Teehee! Seriously, though, I want your regular knee to know IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.
ReplyDeleteI am a Wednesday's child. When I first heard of that nursery rhyme, I couldn't believe someone would curse all us Wednesday kids like this!