Congratulations! (But Also This Card Is Judging You)

I went to a wedding this past weekend, of a friend from school. It was a beautiful wedding, small and meaningful. I have a soft spot for small weddings, and a grouchy-old-lady take on the bonanza that weddings have become in recent years -- so much money and time! This one was just perfect. 

I went card shopping beforehand, and holy WOW. 

You know how when people announce they are pregnant and it's like "welcome to the club" and "yay, momma!" and "This will be the greatest work you ever do?" I feel like most of the time those sentiments don't make it into greeting card prose. Or I've blocked it out. 

But imagining myself as a unpartnered person, shopping for a wedding card? UGH. Soooo many cards that said "Two is better than one" or something along those lines. Seems a big flipped bird, huh? It would be like if new baby cards were like, "Oh finally, you've made a REAL family" or "Now you're a valued part of society!" 

It got me thinking.... There's got to be ways to congratulate people without making one life out to be better than another.

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  1. You're so right. There have got to be more ways to celebrate people's decisions without judging them. Also, the wedding sounds lovely. Like you, I'm another grouchy old lady who can't understand why there's so much focus on weddings, rather than the marriage - which is the point of the wedding, after all!

  2. Congratulations to the happy couple. It is disheartening to see that commercial greeting card producers feel it is acceptable laud one way of loving / living over any other. The "cultural" norms,,,shaking my head.

  3. For sure! Ever since a recent conversation you and I had, I've become more aware of how centered our culture seems to be on being partnered. Once you see it, you see it a LOT.

    There are probably a lot of ways we make people feel less than.

  4. (I will swear I left a comment on this post before?? What I wanted to say:) Excellent point! I have been hanging out on the Gateway Women (now called Lighthouse Women) private community these last few years, and I have learned SO MUCH from the single CNBC women there. Single/unpartnered women make up a HUGE chunk of the CNBC population, and partnered privilege and singleism are very bit as real (and unrecognized) as pronatalism.