Updating "The List"

When I went through my divorce that capped off my 20s and started my 30s, I had a therapist to help me try to make sense of this complete change of direction in my life. She was the type who gave homework, and one session she was like, "make a list of 20 things you want in an ideal partner." The point was to really examine what I wanted (and what I definitely did not), so that I would eventually make decisions on partners that were more in line with what I wanted my life to look like and what I felt I deserved. 

She told me I could not even consider a date with someone who had less than 10 attributes on the list, and I couldn't seriously date anyone lower than 15. It was daunting, especially as I felt pretty low about myself at the time, but I made my list. 

HOW I WISH I STILL HAD MY PAPER COPY OF THIS LIST. I should have framed the damn thing. 

I do remember enough that Bryce looked pretty good from the start, and then once I got to know him better, he ended up having 18 things on the list, which is a 90%. The only two he didn't have were a) like dancing (he will gladly do one slow dance with me, but fast dancing at weddings is alllll me), and b) buy me flowers (his engineer-then-scientist brain equates this to buying me decay, which is not romantic). 

Not a big deal, because I have no problem dancing by myself on the rare occasion that opportunity and mood strike together. Flowers? I can buy myself flowers. I get the whole "it's a slow death and dying exercise, how is that romantic???" but at the same time, flowers are lovely while they're not dead and I enjoy buying myself long-lasting bouquets out of passive aggressiveness. 

But, for my birthday this year, BRYCE BOUGHT ME AN ARRANGEMENT FROM A FLORIST! A new florist shop opened up near us and their signage by the street is always festooned in gorgeous fresh flower garlands. I hinted rather shamelessly that it would be lovely to have flowers appear from there sometime, and that I would even give the monies so it was me paying for decay and Bryce just picking out the slowly dying pretties. 

But on my birthday weekend, BOOM! Here was this gorgeous vessel with flowers (front and back): 

Note the very cute but very naughty photobomber. 

Huzzah! Bryce is now a 19/20 guy. It's important to note that I believe one of the list items was "want children," which he very much did, and obviously I did as well... but it just didn't come to pass. But with 19/20 wonderful, ambitious, sexy, outdoorsy, adventurous things on that list... I count myself as insanely lucky. I would far rather have an amazing life partner and no children than the reverse.