A Surprising Connection

I was on the phone with a parent before break, the student seemed "off" and sad and I just wanted to check in and make sure he was okay. The mom shared that house sister had COVID, and it delayed their break trip, plus they were all testing every morning. The mom said he was like, "How do I know I'm okay?" And she said, "one line. On this one you want one line," and then said she joked with her husband, "unlike all the other times!" 

I said how the home tests remind me so much of pregnancy tests. And then... 

She shared that they had gone through fertility treatments to have their (older) daughter, and it was awful, and they were told that they wouldn't have another and then a few years later my student made a surprise appearance. 

But you know what? She didn't say "miracle." She didn't say "and it was all worth it to have the children we were meant to have." And when I shared that nothing worked for me, she did not say anything obtuse about adoption (I might have mentioned that didn't work either) or what I didn't do. She said I make a difference in kids' lives, and I shared how much it used to bother me when people were like "your students are your children" because my dream was never to have 10+ thirteen-fourteen year olds at once with learning and behavioral difficulties, but it is a place to put my energy. 

I said, "mothering is a verb, and I do it differently and then go home to my cats and my wonderful husband."

It was a moment that left me feeling connected and understood. Our experiences were different, but with a thread of commonality. 

Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy! 


  1. Sending love! And happiness that you found a connection and understanding!

  2. Oooh, thought I'd commented on this. I love it. I love finding connection with someone, and knowing that you can have a conversation with a person without all the awful insensitive comments and triggers, even if their experience is different. Yay.

  3. What an emotionally intelligent conversation you had with this mom. I love your phrase about mothering as a verb.