I was reading Mali's post on No Kidding in NZ, Success Stories, and it reminded me that I had thoughts about the "Never never never give up" quote that's so popular.
Thanks, Mali, because my brain is a bit overwhelmed lately and I keep meaning to write a post and then poof, the time and motivation is gone.
So, this quote. I keep seeing it everywhere. Mostly kitschy posters or signs in people's classrooms or HomeGoods stores.
God, I hate this quote. It was such wonderful toxic positivity when I still believed I could control the outcome of my quest for parenthood with intentions, talismans, and wheatgrass. It is so hard to move forward from something when the chanting beat of never NEVER never NEVER EVER give up! Next time will work! You'll never know if you don't just KEEP GOING!
Problem is, when you keep going until your bodily and mental health can't take it anymore, the quote rings hollow. And then perhaps you take scissors to an inspirational magnet and show it what you think about its bullshit NOW.
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| Actual picture from 2017, The Year of the Imploding |
So, when I see it as inspirational classroom wall decoration, I find it dangerous.
Kids get messages all the time about chasing your dreams, and "you can do anything you set your mind to" and "if you can dream it, you can do it" and the absolute power of positive thinking.
It's pretty hard to find inspirational posters that are about try, try, but move forward if it's unhealthy and swallowing your life. It's Okay to Quit is not exactly flying if the teacher store shelves.
Once I saw the harshest classroom poster ever to grace a catalog:
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| Oddly, I didn't order this one. |
Good gracious.
I'm in the middle. I say perseverance is great, but not when taken too far. It's okay to quit if something is clearly not working out for you. Sometimes the best decision is not to never never never give up, but to realize that giving up and moving forward is by far the healthier, more positive path. That, as a human, the message "you can be anything, do anything you set your mind to!" isn't as accurate as this gem I was sent:
I wish someone had given me this wisdom when I was a teen. That optimism and hope are lovely, but sometimes it's not enough to go up against the reality that not everyone can work and work and work and meet that goal. Working towards a goal is amazing and meaningful and important, but not all goals get achieved. And it's so important to know how to cope when things don't work out.
I think that's a positive message.